Monday, August 6, 2012

An Island of Misfit Toys

I haven't seen anyone actually try to create Marc Crawford's idea of the Columbus Blue Jackets.

I'm considering the guys criticized for intangibles and consistency, of course, but also those who are massively undervalued (often because being overpaid is equated with being flat-out bad). I'll admit there's plenty of guesswork since I'm not exactly dialed into what GMs think, so I'll go off what I hear in the media and around the internet.

I'll also include guys who are still FA (except Shane Doan).


  • Alexander Semin (soft, not a clutch performer, lazy, undisciplined, and a bad teammate)
  • Wojtek Wolski (Semin minus the teammate part)
  • Scott Gomez (always shoots into the goalie's chest, no skill)
  • Nikolai Kulemin (always shoots into the goalie's chest)
  • Olli Jokinen (can't produce when he's on a good team and not "the guy")
  • Jeff Carter (drinks, parties, sleeps with his linemates' wives, and pouts in bad cities)
  • Andrei Kostitsyn (Carter minus Scott Hartnell's wife, FA)
  • Magnus Paajarvi (needs to get stronger, no confidence)
  • Mathieu Darche (FA)
  • Marco Sturm (no skill, FA)
  • Dominic Moore (FA)
  • Dustin Penner (fat)


  • Anton Stralman (played for Columbus)
  • Paul Martin (terrible defensively and replaceable offensively)
  • Carlo Colaiacovo (FA)
  • Roman Hamrlik (can't skate)
  • Jay Bouwmeester (no offense, soft defense)
  • Tom Gilbert (soft, no defense)
  • Brett Clark (played for Tampa Bay, FA)


  • Tim Thomas (Republican)
  • Cristobal Huet (FA)

Island of Misfit Toys
Dustin Penner ($3.250m) / Olli Jokinen ($4.500m) / Alexander Semin ($7.000m) 
Magnus Paajarvi ($1.525m) / Jeff Carter ($5.273m) / Andrei Kostitsyn ($2.500m) 
Wojtek Wolski ($0.600m) / Scott Gomez ($7.357m) / Nikolai Kulemin ($2.800m) 
Mathieu Darche ($0.700m) / Dominic Moore ($2.000m) / Marco Sturm ($1.000m) 
Anton Stralman ($1.700m) / Paul Martin ($5.000m) 
Roman Hamrlik ($3.500m) / Tom Gilbert ($4.000m) 
Jay Bouwmeester ($6.680m) / Carlo Colaiacovo ($3.000m)
Brett Clark ($1.000m) 
Tim Thomas ($5.000m) 
Cristobal Huet ($1.000m) 
CAPGEEK.COM TOTALS (follow @capgeek on Twitter)
(these totals are compiled without the bonus cushion)
SALARY CAP: $70,200,000; CAP PAYROLL: $69,384,537; BONUSES: $625,000
CAP SPACE (21-man roster): $815,463

I would have liked Zherdev and Radulov here, too, but they left.

I'm pretty sure this roster makes the playoffs (if Thomas weren't taking the season off...but then I'd pick Jonas Hiller instead of Thomas), and I think it could win the SE or NE divisions.

How does this compare with an all-intangibles team?

My Custom Lineup
Zach Parise ($7.538m) / Henrik Zetterberg ($6.083m) / Jordan Eberle ($1.158m)
Gabriel Landeskog ($3.575m) / Brad Richards ($6.667m) / Patrick Sharp ($5.900m)
Dustin Brown ($3.175m) / Jonathan Toews ($6.300m) / Ryan Callahan ($4.275m)
Jamie Langenbrunner ($1.500m) / Maxime Talbot ($1.750m) / Brandon Prust ($2.500m)
Shea Weber ($7.857m) / Hal Gill ($2.000m)
Nick Schultz ($3.500m) / Jack Johnson ($4.357m)
Karl Alzner ($1.285m) / Bryce Salvador ($3.167m)
Marc-Andre Fleury ($5.000m)
Martin Brodeur ($4.500m)
CAPGEEK.COM TOTALS (follow @capgeek on Twitter)
(these totals are compiled without the bonus cushion)
SALARY CAP: $70,200,000; CAP PAYROLL: $82,087,747; BONUSES: $3,212,500
CAP SPACE (20-man roster):- $11,887,747

The forwards here are much, much, much better than the misfit toys' forwards (look at that! Three top lines!), but the misfits have the edge on defense and a huge edge in goal.

Oh, and can't forget coaches.

Misfit toys: ...Bruce Boudreau, maybe. Darryl Sutter would have been perfect here a few months ago, but that ship has sailed.

Intangibles: I think Dave Tippett has the biggest reputation for getting the most out of a low-end roster.

Considering the money difference--you could add two top line forwards to the misfits with that money--I'm not sure the misfits are significantly worse than the intangibles (of course, that's merely from a glance at the roster). Do you?

P.S. Misfits >>> Blue Jackets

1 comment:

  1. Very nice post and very well researched. Of course, they can't "ice" the "Intangibles" team since they're way over the Cap limit.